Long Live the Queen
so....I'm finally gettin' around to telling the story....Miss Bean (a.k.a. Queen) has gone across the Rainbow Bridge. I knew her breathing was not normal, but had chalked it up to mostly her allergies. Dr. Norma had listened to her during an exam and said that she wasn't hearing any congestion in either her lungs or head. She said the next step was taking films, but let's just try the allergy meds first and see if she responded to them.
They seemed to help...or was it just wishful thinking? I went back and forth between thinking she was getting better and then worrying that she wasn't.
The time for my husband and I to go on vacation was approaching fast....and I was taking both Queen & Willis over to my friend Kym's house. What a blessing it is to have a friend who will take your bunnies for ya while you're out of town, not to mention that they will be treated as well as I would treat them at home. Plus, Kym has rabbits of her own and is very knowledgable on "all things bunny" (when I told Dr. Norma that Miss Bean would be staying with Kym, she said, "oh, that's very good....she's in great hands!)
I was still not happy about Miss Bean's breathing though.....and had planned on getting Kym's opinion on it when I dropped her and Willis off the morning before we flew out. If Kym didn't like what she saw either, I had planned to take Miss Bean in to see Dr. Norma.
I think I already knew that Kym's take on Bean's breathing would be the same as mine....and she just happened to be taking her bunny, Chief, in for a check-up that morning. I called the vet's office and they said, sure bring them both in at the same time. I still had tons of packing to do so Kym offered to take Bean with her.
I stopped by my mom's house to visit her before leaving town and when I got home there was a message from Dr. Norma....."please call me if you haven't left town yet...we need to discuss our findings from Miss Bean's exam".....
The alarms were going off in my head....that doesn't sound good!.....
I called Dr. Norma and when she got on the phone with me she said, "I'm so sorry sweetie, but I don't think Miss Bean will be here when you get back. We took films of her and there is almost no normal lung tissue showing and the cancer looks to be in her abdomen as well. We could try experimental drugs on her...but I think the thing to do is just let her be and finish her days in peace". We both concured that she wouldn't survive surgery.
I hung up and began to sob, to grieve for my sweet girl. I cried out to God and said, "I don't know how to do this!" When I regained enough composure, I called Kym to see what we should do. I couldn't very well leave now....no way!....
Kym had not gotten home yet so I left her a message to call me. I should tell you here that Kym loves Miss Bean like one of her own.....she is the one who took Miss Bean for me last year when we left town, telling me 'you almost didn't get her back!' when I went to pick her up and bring her back home.
Maybe 30 minutes later the phone rang....it was Kym, crying and saying 'I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry'.....and I'm crying too, saying 'I know, I am too!'.....she's almost screaming now through the tears, saying, "no, Ellen, she's GONE!"
.....wow.......gone......
She told me that she'd gotten back from the vet's office and brought Miss Bean in the house so she could get the hook the cage door.....she set Miss Bean down and when she came back in the room that Miss Bean had gone into cardiac arrest. and poof....just like that....Miss Bean hopped across the Rainbow Bridge.....
Kym brought her over to my house and sat with me a while. We both kept just stroking her beautiful fur and kissing her head. Kym had seen the xrays, and oh my gosh, Bean was just full of cancer. Then she quietly said, "she can see again", as Miss Bean was totally blind due to neglect in one of her former homes....it seems she lived a life of mostly neglect before I was blessed with her presence.
Dr. Norma had told Kym that she doubted Miss Bean would last the week.....but like Sipsey, the maid in Fried Green Tomatos, said, when Ruth Jamison died, "a lady always knows when it's time to leave!"
So I got to hold her, love on her and tell her goodbye before we put her to rest in one of her favorite spots in the back yard. It was just at dusk, when the nature of bunnies makes them want to come out to romp and nibble plants before going to bed for the night. Sweet Queen, my darlin' Bean Bunny.....
I would not have left the same time as my husband on our vacation....I would have waited till Bean had gone first.....but a way was made for me. When I cried out to God earlier, "I don't know how to do this!"....how to let her go, how to say goodbye....it's almost like He answered back to me, "This is how you're going to do it....leave it in My Hands".
I'm on the North Shore of Oahu now. It's a healing place, a spiritual place. When I walk the beach in the mornings I say out loud, "Run, Bean run!" and I imagine her running freely, nose no longer to the ground to make up for sightless eyes. Run, Sweet Girl....I love you.....
